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Don't use your phone while you poop

Don't use your phone while you poop

ExMachina73

Comments (179)

  • huhtenberg
    Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that.Yet, lo and behold, we survived!
  • Retr0id
    If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.
  • brtkwr
    Who read this while in the act?
  • 01100011
    Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it.I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.
  • alsetmusic
    Ages ago, I let my partner borrow my first iPad after I'd upgraded. She'd take it into the bathroom. I never touched it because of that and I probably cleaned it when she gave it back to me.
  • Waterluvian
    But there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.
  • drnick1
    HN readership and comments would greatly decline if people did not usr their phones in the can.
  • sethammons
    Flip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.
  • firefoxd
    If Hank had a Smartphone, Heisenberg would still be on the loose. What about reading poems?
  • xnx
    I guess my diet/physiology must be different from y'all? I might be sitting down for 1 minute tops.
  • BLKNSLVR
    My parents had the Desiderata 'poem' on the back of the toilet door when I was growing up, so I read it a thousand times.Being older and reading it again, it's a beautiful sentiment and something that, I think, seeped into my subconscious and made me a better person.My favorite line:"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here"https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
  • gertlex
    My main take in this area is that reading HN/Reddit actively makes it harder to get the business done. Certain phone games seem way better.My more general hypothesis is that generally reading interesting stuff is too engaging, and the brain needs to relax "just right".
  • herpdyderp
    I accomplish this brain offload in the shower. I’ve found some of my best solutions as shower thought.
  • dt3ft
    Back in the day, old newspapers were used as toilet paper. It was a ceremony for my late cousin to cut the newspapers into blocks and neatly pack them in the outdoor toilet. You’d have a choice of some water from a bottle, and the old newspapers. A company of a few flies and no light. But when you went in there while the sun was out, reading whatever was on the cutouts was the obvious thing to do. Not just stare at the cracks in the wooden door in front of you.
  • OutOfHere
    Please sanitize your phone's back side each weekend. 70% ethanol or isopropyl alcohol works reasonably, although it won't kill everything.
  • ozten
    From an evolutionary perspective, this is a super vulnerable moment and are in a state of hyper vigilance.
  • pmarreck
    There's also showering. (But I've taken to playing music in the shower with a waterproof boombox. Bluetooth'd from my phone, of course.)And of course, sleeping. ;)But there is something to this. Intuitive ideas come to you in the quiet moments.
  • spottedmarley
    But then how would I take the photo I need to feed my AI-powered fecal analysis agent?
  • mproud
    There were (and still are?) bathroom reader books.My parents leave copies of The New Yorker, Newsweek, and Nat Geo in their bathroom.
  • funkattack
    When the bowel moves, let the mind move with it, and let nothing else abide.
  • niek_pas
    For those interested in some of the science behind the idea of “being bored is good”: the google-phrase you are looking for is “default mode network”.
  • anthropodie
    > there's probably microscopic fecal particles on every surface in there. And there's no way your phone is making it out unscathed.Precisely the reason I stopped using phone in the toilet.
  • i_am_a_peasant
    I had all my dinosaur books always on the bathroom floor waiting.
  • wcfrobert
    Another reset tip I've implemented to great success is to drive in complete silence. No music, no podcast, no radio.This way, I've turned my daily commute into a kind of meditation practice.At first, you'll think about a million random things, and the 20 minute commute turns into a 40 minute commute mentally. Often you'll zone out and replay argument, write essays in your head. But if you try to relax and concentrate, after a while, you'll start to be more present and notice pedestrians, weird signs, potholes, restaurant you've never paid attention to, different types of overpasses, etc.Another fun exercise: every once in a while, I flip a coin and if it lands head, I'll allow myself to listen to music, and the music becomes a treat again rather than random background noise! It's great and I've added so many more songs to my playlist because I actually notice them
  • andsoitis
    Not just your phone. Don't read books or magazines or do other things.Get in, take your dump, be done in max 6mins, get up. Don't strain.
  • veidelis
    I don't believe in planning when to stare at the wall. I just do it when I feel like it - whenever - sometimes family members are around. Be reasonably spontaneous - you'll calibrate on you're own. Don't be afraid. Breathe, baby!
  • trencedamp
    If you want a third reason, sitting too long gives you piles
  • ivolimmen
    Yes I was pooping while reading this
  • tehologist
    WTF, growing up I read and always kept a book or magazine in the restroom. I fail to see the difference.
  • franze
    I have Stiftung Warentest Yearly Editions from 2020 to now there.My guests stay for ages.
  • VCFundedGenYer
    This article has clearly forgotten the past.People would read magazines, newspapers, nearby bottles of things, etc.The phone part is irrelevant.
  • reactordev
    On the other hand, it's the only time I have a few minutes to actually check my phone...
  • icase
    i’ve never understood this. how long does it take people to poo that they need to bring something to do?!
  • hacker_88
    Meanwhile Greeks .. "what's up buddy"
  • rambojohnson
    oh boy... how about you don't do it.
  • wxw
    How else will I read HN?
  • cesnja
    If you have time to read on the toilet, then (barring any disease or other disfunction) you’re not getting enough fiber.
  • Cider9986
    Also raise your feet.
  • jdw64
    Sitting on the toilet reading this post gives it a whole different feel.
  • Shaanveer
    what if i end up daydreamin?
  • bellowsgulch
    Literally read this on the toilet. Thanks!
  • bvan
    What has Hacker News come to… sigh..
  • jrflo
    This is the thing I've become increasingly radicalized about. I built an app (link below if you're curious, it's $5 [1]) to cure my particular brand of phone addiction.I've been using my phone for probably ~1hr per day for the last 6 months and I've realized how many ills of our society today can be traced back to phones and social media. Political polarization, misinformation, mental illness, the loneliness epidemic, brain-rot - we'd be in a very different place if we could moderate our use of this technology more.The thing I've come to realize is that when I look at my phone it's so boring now, and that's how it should be.[1]: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/scrolless-feed-blocker/id67588...
  • joemazerino
    Bathroom readers are a staple here.
  • maipen
    The bathroom is the modern day phone booth. Its the perfect place to read hacker news’s first page.
  • jhfdbkofdchk
    "Oh! I'm so sorry I must have missed it when you got your PhD in defecation."
  • comrade1234
    ...but then when will I do my Duolingo?
  • lacoolj
    Obvious, and yet will be ignoredAlso, it's nasty. Check out how dirty your phone already is, then add fecal matter to that (you really think when you poop it just lands neatly in the bowl and nothing goes into the air?)
  • chasing
    I have an AI agent that poops for me and just reports the results.
  • pessimizer
    Don't use your phone while you poop if you're a phone addict like this person and their demographic, and you need to create an artificial excuse for you to stop constantly touching it.I almost only use my phone when I poop, for flashcards. Guarantees me at least 5-10 minutes a day, and encourages me to relax (i.e. not strain) and not hurry the process. I might pick it up again at night when I'm getting tired to do more flashcards so I don't accidentally start something that will keep me up because I don't want to stop it in the middle.So almost exclusively on the toilet and before bed (oh no!). My advice is don't smoke crack when you poop if you're a crackhead. In fact, any space you can open during which you are not smoking crack is good if you're a crackhead.Also, sitting on the toilet doesn't give you hemorrhoids. Straining on the toilet gives you hemorrhoids. If your diet forces you to take a long time, you'll strain to hurry it up (or it may simply be unavoidable.) If you already have hemorrhoids, you'll take longer on the toilet (thereby associating long periods on the toilet with hemorrhoids.) Simply sitting on the toilet and letting things gently happen is not a bad thing, and also probably something that a person who is on their phone every minute of the day attending to beeps (and being filled with worry when it is not beeping) can't conceive of.
  • mkirsten
    Oh shit
  • overtone1000
    lol, great closing line
  • hn5xz7plcj
    [dead]
  • throwaway613746
    [dead]
  • throw93940r00
    This must be GenX version of boomers "you are poor because you buy coffees". I need my phone for work, not because of some addictive distraction.I do not do meditative "quiet reflection" on shitty toilet, I have nice space for that!
  • FunnyLookinHat
    "You need to be bored" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orQKfIXMiA8This is harder than ever - I've always got the urge (no pun intended to the original post) to start a new worktree, keep the agents unblocked, or write down a new idea.I've started going on silent drives to help - 2 lane roads for an hour or so, just staring ahead and thinking about nothing and everything. I'll reward myself with a podcast on the way back from wherever my "could be anywhere" destination is.