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Comments (154)

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  legitster
  This has actually been a trend since the 1960s: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_AloneThe simple answer is media. First television, then internet, then smartphones.People used to actively seek the company of others - if for no other reason than out of boredom. Entertainment and parasocial relationships have filled that hole.Another reason I might posit is declining birth rates and an aging population. Entire neighborhoods used to be filled with young families of roughly the same age. Now on any given city block in the US, there may only be 1 or 2 houses that have kids of any age in them. Smaller concentration of kids -> thinner market for playdates and sleepovers -> less interactions between families.
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  0x1ch
  I'm 25. I go to work and then I go home. Same schedule since I got out of university. I do networking / IT. I usually buy a six pack of beer and then go to bed when I'm off, sometimes I'll stay up on my lab but I usually regret it because lack of sleep.No bars, no dinners with anyone. I think the only blessing this lifestyle has given me is minimized impact from the failing economy we're in, at the cost of not seeing anyone or doing anything. I still have outside hobbies, but it's all too expensive to keep up with now, or being heavily regulated.
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  Uncle_Brumpus
  Just some personal anecdotes: I've come into the orbit of a local "no phones" meetup group in my city. I discovered it by seeing a black and white printed scan of a hand-drawn flyer on a pole by my apartment. Currently it's just organized by one guy who sends out random Signal pings for stuff to do like a potluck picnic, group trip to some free instructed yoga at a park, craft night at a local bar/bookstore, etc., and usually there's ~4-15 people that show up. I organized a World Postcard Day postcard writing party last week, found a venue that would host for free, donated some of my own dollars to provide free official WPD postcards to attendees, and had 7 people come write postcards with me, I convinced 4 of them to sign up for Postcrossing, it was a great time.If anybody else is looking for change, try setting something like this up. It has so far been free, easy, relatively low stakes, and I think by virtue of the main focus being "no phones", you get some great people who are all tired of the same algorithmic churn.I became very good friends with someone who I met at one of the meetups and we've done all kinds of things just the 2 of us and have had some really interesting conversations, which is something I haven't done in a LONG time.
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  justinator
  I remember when the iPhone first came out. I was at a bar, at a table with a few people I didn't really know. This was a pretty common occurrence.You usually got a drank, talked. This was a kind of gothic-theme bar, all done up with spooky decorations, a good dj, interesting drinks. We'd host arts/culture slide show jams before the place really would get going for the night. The art was curated and swapped out monthly. There was a lot going on! The place did a lot to charge the space with energy and excitement, bringing a lot of different people together.Then this guy at the table whipped out his phone and just ignored us all sitting there.I knew right then and there that this was the beginning of the end.
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  bcardarella
  Every single social event is a financial consideration now. Want to go out with the wife for the evening? It's going to cost $150+ for a baby sitter at $25/hour. The dinner + tip is going to cost $200. Parking is going to cost $50 - $100 if you go into a city. You could take public transportation but then you're loooking at that cost shifting back to the babysitter. Before you know it you're in for $300 - $500 just for a night off.
• infowetrust
  Fun dumbbell plot. I like how the bottom "Used the internet" is graphically and metaphorically the foundation for the entire presentation of change. The change is so total that you might miss it, as if it is the baseline or the water we are all swimming in.
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  jleyank
  This is more complex than you might thing. First, there's far more places to meet people - rather than having them over for coffee, we meet in a coffeeshop. Networks have provided a "together in time" alternative to "together in place", so people can game, talk, ... via voice and video rather than traveling to a common location. There's far more 2-working-member families than previously, so the ability to organize household events is reduced. Finally, there's far more organized sports activities that consume both child and parent time. These pull everybody out of the house.
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  dzonga
  because suburbs and housing models like it designed around a closed loop even some apartment building which have high population density encourage social isolation.compare a 'luxury' Florida apartment vs the old New York apartments built in the 1800s. the NY apartments have narrow stairs, one way in.likewise dense / small cities / villages in either africa/europe etc force more natural social interaction.even for friends - easier to host friends when they can easily walk to your home & they don't have to drink & drive.so blaming tv, social media, video games etc doesn't get to the root of the matter.
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  arjie
  I can't square this with the fact that I have a perfect storm situation that should point me there. I am a foreigner of minority ethnicity to the United States living in a high-rise building of 600 people that has no Schelling point common-space to spend time in that's located in a city that is expensive and I have all the social contact I desire: family, close friends, more distant friends, neighbours, strangers in the building, familiar strangers in the area.I talked about how relatively easy it is to have social contact here at all levels and so I must conclude that most people simply have better uses for their time (by their own judgment) than this. https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2025-10-09/Community
• janalsncm
  It would be useful to know whether the same trends have happened in other places. If iPhones are causing people to be less social, we should see similar trends in France and Japan.If we didn’t see the same trends, it points to reasons more specific to the US.
• james_marks
  Last night I found a post-it note in my copy of _The Organized Mind_ by Daniel J. Levitin.It says "Connect with Others. Learn. Be Active".Strikes me as good advice 10 years ago when I wrote it, and just as good now.
• MadrasTh0rn
  Digital captupture of society
• anon
  undefined
• bluefirebrand
  I'm Canadian not American but I feel this keenlyI had a pretty busy social life in university, 20 years agoThe first city I landed in afterwards, I was able to make some connections and was lucky enough some of my uni friends were around tooBut I moved for work to a much further away city and my social life has dropped to zero since then. The pandemic and lockdowns didn't help of course, but that was years ago. I don't have a single friend in this city and I've lived here almost 10 years nowAdmittedly I'm kind of socially awkward and quite afraid of new groups, which has only gotten worse over the years. I also haven't had any luck making lasting connections through work or anything like that.I tend to blame myself for this but it's not too surprising to hear many others are struggling too
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  logicchains
  That should be "In-Person Social Activity Has Steeply Declined". While online social activity has increased significantly.
• zarmin
  together we are alone
• thefz
  I can not think of a society that hates itself more, so yeah.
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  AIorNot
  So here's the question:in America we have had 20 years of "Tech Disruption"., making the world a better place and relentless technical innovation, combined with the 'corporization' of AmericaHas our day to day lives improved?Do we work less, live healthier, have less stress?Seems like this (the younger generation) is far worse off then pre-internet connected, smartphone generation
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  dyauspitr
  Social media, smart phones, and all of that are heavily responsible for this, but at the same time I think the main crux of the issue, in my opinion, is that we don’t have a common culture anymore. As long as you don’t have a common culture and a common understanding of the basic rules that everyone agrees on, no one can spend time with each other comfortably.
• AndrewKemendo
  In my experience it’s not because there’s lack of attempts to get people togetherWhen given the option between: socializing with people in a shared space and being at home and entertaining yourself people are consciously choosing the latter.When I ask why, this is what I hear from other people the most:-I don’t have time-I don’t have transportation-Who else is going to be thereEtc…There seems to be a genuine lack of desire whatsoever to simply get yourself to a place where there is a free event.And to be clear this is not just talking about one particular type of eventI just went to a Democratic socialist of America event this weekend in support of Gaza, and the amount of people who showed up compared to the number of people who are on the list (even the organizing list) is some vanishingly small group.If the plurality of individuals don’t want to join groups in person because they feel satisfied by themselves, then that’s a signal of some kind.
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  scottndecker
  This was foreseeable. We all know it. We all know why. Yet we fail to do anything about it.
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  ragall
  Americans are very intolerant of others, whether it's political convictions or food preferences; the few that have kids threat the little ones like fragile glassware that can't be moved or otherwise inconvenienced, so it doesn't surprise me that they meet others less. My wife and I meet with a varying group of friends every week, or even more, but we're all immigrants. We've tried to invite local acquaintances, but they always find a reason to say no and just stay home.